NOT EVERYONE HAS THE SAME START LINE

In the 2021 New York City marathon, I followed the 3:45 pacer for 16 miles.

Because the course has a few different start points, there are a few 3:45 pacers. All of them eventually come together, which I got to experience.

My pacer, upon seeing the other pacer, said, “What time do you have?” The other pacer said, “An hour and 15 minutes.” “No, SECONDS,” he asked.

They were trying to coordinate if one of them needed to fall back or push ahead. I looked down at my watch and saw an hour and 16 minutes and some odd seconds. It was then that I realized that even though I was running with the 3:45 pacer, if I stayed with him the whole way, I’d finish at 3:46.

We might be running together, but we did not start at the same time. He started BEHIND me.

This is why it’s very, very important to not judge the life path of others.

Not everyone has the same start line.

Someone who grew up in poverty does not have the same start line as someone who grew up with affluence.

A person of color does not have the same start line as a white person.

Someone who went to a poor secondary school does not have the same start line as someone who attended a private school.

Someone who was repeatedly raped/beaten by a spouse does not have the same start line as someone who has not been assaulted.

If you grew up with trauma, in the years some children spent being creative, you were trying to emotionally survive.

You did not have the same start line.

So why then, would you judge where you’re currently standing against anyone else?

As a coach, I have some incredible skills. I cultivated those skills (active listening, challenging beliefs, hearing what people are really saying, etc) in my years of public-facing jobs. It also helps that I used a different brain to come at that work- an inquisitive, almost ethnographic brain.

However, I did not start a professional career at 22. I started at 34. That's over a decade of time I did not spend networking, building professional relationships, etc.

No "program" that promises me eight bajillion figures of monetary growth can supplement the decade+ I did not spend building a professional network. The only thing that can is continuing to show up, and building it, every day.

Regardless of how "good" I am with people, that piece still needs to get built.

Don't let people confuse you about (un)realistic timeframes. You are where you are. You can run 100 miles, but not when you first start. The chemical and biological processes of adaptation must occur, and they only occur with showing up.

The road from A to B has no teleportation system, BUT YOU CAN WALK QUICKLY.

Give grace. Honor where you started. Everyone's start line is different, so comparison is not only useless but... illogical 🖖🏻